Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
