Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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