The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
