Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
