The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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