If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
