if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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