We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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