Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
