Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
