Apparently you make a good broom.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
