My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
