i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
