my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
