I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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