do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
