She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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