I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
