You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
