maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
