i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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