it hurts more in the daytime
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
