I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize