Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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