Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
