It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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