i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize