I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.