i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.