You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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