I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
