whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
