We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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