Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just threw up on my dentist
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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