508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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