So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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