Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
