Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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