Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
