apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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