we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think my vagina is haunted
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
