what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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