There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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