No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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