you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
