We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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