Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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