And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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