is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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