I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
