Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
