went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
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i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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