I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
