I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize