i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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