I accidentally had phone sex last night
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
