Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
