he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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