you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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